The BROKEBACK LIST or The Top 10 Gay Things I Want To Do Before I Die
What do “Brokeback Mountain” and “The Bucket List” have in common?
Nothing…at first. But if you really think about it, isn’t there a part of every man that wants to have a few “unique” experiences before he kicks the bucket?
Now, I know what some of you are thinking and the answer is no. I am not gay and I am not in the closet. I think it’s perfectly fine that some men are attracted to other men but I just happen not to be in that category. With that said, I think it is somewhat unfair that society, although warming up to the idea, still frowns upon men exhibiting behaviors deemed as “gay”.
With that idea in mind, I set out to think of all the supposedly “gay” experiences out there that I would want to partake in before I die so that at least I don’t die a fool. This lead me to come up with the Brokeback List.
As a caveat, let me emphasize the following: although perfectly acceptable in some straight circles, some of these behaviors are considered somewhat “gay” in other parts of the country. Therefore don’t get on my case because you have hang-ups about this or if you feel defensive.
#10 on the Brokeback List: Going To a Gay Night Club
It looks like loads of fun plus the girls who tend to go there are smoking hot. Yes, some dudes might hit on you but hey, it is a fair trade off.
#9 on the Brokeback List: Crying At The Movies
Yes, I too wanted to sniffle at the end of “Meet Joe Black” but that would have been hard to explain to my buddies sitting next to me.
#8 on the Brokeback List: Getting a Manicure
I know it’s not like considered gay these days but I doubt this is something guys brag about either. Hey, I like clean finger nails too.
#7 on the Brokeback List: Carrying a Purse
A man-purse to be exact. I hate stuffing my pocket with cellphone, wallet, keys and whatever else I have to take. It’s like I am a freaking homeless guy without a cart.
#6 on the Brokeback List: Wearing Pink
Ok, Kanye does it. Camron does it. But lord forbid it, I try doing without being snickered at. Hell, maybe I should just start with pink boxers.
#5 on the Brokeback List: Wearing a Skirt
Well, more like a kilt or something like that. Yeah, I know. It’s not gay per say but still, I really want to air out my family jewels from time to time. And if a kilt is what I need to achieve that, then a kilt it is.
#4 on the Brokeback List: Wearing Makeup
I am not talking Eddie Izzard Full on transvestite makeup. But more like some eye-liner, a little foundation and stuff like that. Hell, actors do it all the time….for their jobs, but that’s beside the point
#3 on the Brokeback List: Shaving My Legs
Yes, I too want to be like Lance Armstrong and shave my gams. I like smooth things too, you know.
#2 on the Brokeback List: Waxing My Ass
Did I mention that I like smooth things?
#1 on the Brokeback List: Get a Piggyback Ride from a Guy
Oh come on, don’t look at me like that. I always like playing that as a kid and the only reason I stopped it was because I was getting too big for it and I can hardly ask any of my male friends to carry me. Still, I miss it (sigh).
If some of you were offended by this, take a chill pill. If some of you were amused by this, share your thoughts on my List and also feel free to share your own Brokeback List.