Women Want Edward Cullen, But Get Peter Griffin

You may also like...

37 Responses

  1. Katie says:

    I totally feel the same way. I wish I could switch my Peter for an Edward.

    And I am so there for the movie too. Go, Team Edward!

  2. Anner says:

    I think you hit this one right on the nose! Its depressing but true. At least we humans have the ability to daydream about Edward even though we married Peter Griffin in real life

  3. peter griffin says:

    Fuck you. i hate getting badmouthed.

  4. David says:

    Wow I never realised I was Peter Griffin! Kind of makes me feel good, the man is a beacon of hope we all aspire too.

    Seriously, I will be there watching Twilight, although I still like Jacob better.

    Very funny and well written article, thank you.

  5. Meg says:

    I hate it when he farts in my cereal!

  6. amie says:

    Lol! Sorry Peter, nothing personal.

  7. Kristen says:

    LOL! This is funny because it’s so TRUE! Hopefully a whole generation of Twilight fans will demand more from their men when they get older. Although I suspect they’ll mostly just be disappointed when they find out Edward doesn’t exist.

  8. Bob says:

    Boo Edward. Go Peter.

  9. Speak on your own accounts! I am no Peter Griffin, tho I am no Edward either. To actually publish this and have other girls agree makes you and the other girls agreeing with this unfaithful wenches! To actually say “you would wonder what it is like to be Bella” tells me you are neither happy with your current relationship, nor do you have very high self esteem.

    Bring your significant other to this film with you! Trust me, guys take hints from movies. When they see their girlfriend, wife, etc. get that shit eating grin on there face and lightly squeal like a little schoolgirl over something romantic, we take mental notes. I’m sorry to bash you in the first paragraph, but just as men do not understand women, women do not understand men!

    In a nutshell, if you do not currently have an “Edward”, you are not with “the one”. I can be an Edward, and my girlfriend of 7 years and I are comfortable enough around each other that we can have a little bit of Peter and Lois in our relationship too. I would bet that after 7 years together, Edward and Bella would have a little bit of Peter and Lois as well. 😉

  10. Mona says:

    I love Edward so much$-$

  11. Lauren says:

    You’re actually not right.
    The common misconception that every man is a peter really irritates me.
    i mean,there are men out there who are willing to have their girls on pedastools and treat their girlslike edwards bella.
    Theyre just very very rare and you hardly ever find em.
    but,the woman also has to treat the man right,it cant just be a one way thing :]

  12. Matt says:

    This article pretty much nailed it. However, there is one thing you forgot to mention. Not only does Edward Cullen raise hopes too high for women, it SHATTERS hopes for men trying to be like him. I have read Twilight and seen the movie. Not the greatest piece of work I’ve ever read/watched, but it’s a decent story. Believe me, there are men out there that understand this high level that women have raised the bar to. Women are absolutely killing themselves with this book, because they are rejecting men left and right that are anything short of their beloved “Edward!” It makes me sick.

    Like you said, he’s not even HUMAN!!! lol. It’s absolutely ridiculous that women even think to compare him to real men.

    For those of you who haven’t thought of it this way….

    Twilight is to women as PORN is to men.

    Porn can easily destroy a relationship, because it takes focus off of actual sex in a relationship (crucial). Many models that are used in these porn videos have been spray tanned, waxed, etc.. In other words, they are every guy’s dream woman in bed. They skip the foreplay, they give hour-long blowjobs, and they are willing to try every position, etc.. on and on. You get the drift.

    Edward does the same for women. With Edward, there is no bitching and moaning. There is no arguing over football or a romantic movie. There is no complaining. There is no “I’m hungry. Make me a sandwhich, woman!” There is no cheating. There is no abuse. There is no jealousy. There is nothing REAL.

    Instead, what women get are a perfect vision of what a real “man” should be. They’ll never be satisfied EVER with a flawed human being.

    This takes its toll on men. Some women give up in sexual situations when they feel they can’t compare to the women in porn.

    A man will do the same when the woman he loves can’t accept him for who he is. In her eyes, he’s nothing but just another flawed guy. She will keep waiting for her “Edward” to show up, and he will never come along. And down the road, she will wish she had accepted that particular guy that showed so much interest in her at one time. But by now, he’s probably found someone else that loved him for who he was.

    Twilight is a great book and all, but it’s doing heavy damage to REAL relationships.

    Women don’t obsess over Twilight because it’s fun. It’s an ADDICTION!! lol. I know it sounds like a bad joke, but this is unfortunately very true. Edward is a DRUG and women need their fix.

  13. tiffany says:

    oh my new idol- ROBERT PATTINSON
    he’s so cool in his own way..

  14. Taylor says:

    i LOVE Edward Cullen/Robert Pattinson!

  15. Flora says:

    I’m still young and I will not settle for a peter! I have a right to be treated like a princess and loved like i’m the last women on earth. I should be the prettiest girl in their eye’s and no one should be able to compare. He should be the one who wants to show me off when I’m in my sweats. He should be the one who kisses me on the head and says I wll always love you.

  16. Rose says:

    Lol good article, I like it, but btw Edward is too perfect (except in temperature lol), I would hate to be around someone like that cos i am far from perfect 😛 but in the film they over exaggerate Edward in the classroom when he is sat by Bella, he looks like he is gonna spew, whilst being the typical over exaggerating man 😛 If i was her sat next to him i think id turn to him and ask him what his problem is, and that its rude to stare at people and gag in their faces 😛

  17. rachael k says:

    lol know what ya mean Im 30 and would love to meet a Edward Cullen myself *grins*

  18. Amy says:

    This article is so true. I’m 23 years old and married to a kinda Peter Griffin kinda Edward. I mean honestly, how many opportunities does my husband get to save me from a ravenous vampire that wants my blood? None yet. Edward is handsome and charming and will forever love Bella. I come pretty close to having that with my husband. He’s handsome, a little lacking in the charm department and doesn’t ever do sweet things “just because” but, we’re both young and he has plenty of time to learn. Remember, ladies, Edward has had 90 years to study women and learn about what they like.

  19. Margen says:

    I am so glad that i was looking for things about Edward and found this. I was having second thoughts on even liking men at all, but after reading some of these replies, and the article of course, I realize that my expectations were just too high, I’m upset about ever thinking about that. I’m so happy that I’m going to (hopefully) feel normal again. I actually, now that I’m thinking about it, actually loved some men, and once I read these books, literally fell in love with Edward, and then didn’t like a guy like I had before again. I hope things will change for me, for the better of course. And I hope that these books don’t make other girls feel the same way I have. Don’t get me wrong though, these are the greatest books I have ever read, second in line would be pretty little liars series, but that’s not what this is about. I have got to be the happiest person in the world now. Thank you so much everyone, especially you, Matt! I really appreaciate it, now if you don’t mind, I’m going to go and take a bubble bath, and then I will call my best friend and tell her my good news! 😉

  20. Leonard says:

    stop whining. edward cullen is a fictional character, stop mooning over him and deal with life as it actually is. i’m sick of this twilight business.

  21. valerie says:

    EDWARD CULLEN IS TOTALLY HOT!!!!I do have a boy friend right now, and though I wish he were edward, he’s perfect for me.
    OH, and, ah,Fuck you leonard!i love twilight!O_O

  22. amy says:

    lighten up they’re just books! i love the books and i think the character edward is hot and the actor who is playing him is hot but i definitely know what’s real and what’s fantasy.

  23. Jenn says:

    I have a boyfriend whose first name is Cullen. He is perfect in every way imaginable. He makes Edward Cullen look like shit.

    Don’t ever settle for Peter’s. There is better out there.

  24. Karen says:

    LOL.. That’s so cute!

    Well at least we can live safe lives and not having to run away fearing our lives!

  25. Carol says:

    This was great. Thanks for the laugh. Love the Sixteen Candles reference!

  26. Naomi says:

    I disagree and I am ten years old. EDWARD CULLEN is to real. And I LOVE HIM.
    There are also lots of guys in the world that are like EDWARD CULLEN too. I bet maNY mEN ARE saing they are JUST LIKE EDWARD CULLEN. So I tell I disagree!

    HE IS mINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  27. jasmine says:

    I did an imagae google search and saw Edward & Peter in the same picture. My curiosity got the better of me. I had to see what this was all about since I am a new twilight fan and have just finished the 1st book in only 3 days. I too have compared peter to my boyfriend of 8 years. He’s almost 400lbs and he’s not embarassed to fart or do disgusting things in front of me. And sometimes blissfully unaware of my need as a woman to be treated like a damsell in distress. When I watched this movie and then read the book I was so inlove with the thought of a man being so perfect. Reminded me of my 1st love, however who was not a vampire, yet just a true gentleman. So for the men out there crying because IT CAN’T BE REAL, YOU MEN CAN’T COMPARE? Think again! my ex was exactly that. Just not imortal. We split due to his parents being over self indulgent assholes! And did what ever they found suitable to break us up. They demanded him to be something more and sent him off to school far away after our 4 year relationship. I was heart broken and then I found the one I’m with today who closely resembles that of peter griffin. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a nice guy, he’s a true provider and very sweet. But sometimes I fean for that true love again where nothing in the world could ever break my stare from his undying eyes and embrace…………………………….crazyhondadriver@yahoo.com

  28. jukie says:

    well yes its true that edward is in every girl’s fantasies..
    but try to think of peter’s one great quality also..
    he loves lois very much and will do anything for her.
    oh well i love them both..
    and great article i must say

  29. Lizzie says:

    I saw the picture of Edward Cullen and Peter Griffin. I wondered what that was about, like jasmine, and clicked on it. The article surprised me! I believe that just about every single comment on here is true- from different perspectives.
    My own perspective on this is the article is somewhat true. Women DO want Edward Cullen, but they don’t get him. Edward is TOO perfect. Nobody is not that perfect. No man could be Edward Cullen because he is a fictional vampire character. I think Matt is right when he said, “Twilight is to women as PORN is to men.”
    Just because most men are more like Peter Griffin rather than Edward Cullen, it doesn’t mean that women should ignore the men in her life hoping for her Edward to come along. It will never happen!

  30. Emily says:

    Okay, so. I hate Twilight. Why? It goes like this!

    Edward: BELLA, I love you but I can’t eat you! You smell so good.
    Yeah, I’m hot, I’m a glitter dude.

    Bella: No, it’s okay! I want to be like you, and be with
    you forever!

    Jacob: Hi, I’m Jacob, and I made mudpies with Bella when
    we were younger! Whatchya gonna say about that Edward?!
    Okay, that’s my part in the movie, Bye!!

  31. Charlotte says:

    Okay, let’s put it this way, would you rather date a jealous stalker, or would you date a dumb but loving man. If you picked the jealous stalker, then you have your Edward Cullen. Women, please remember that your beloved Edward stalked Bella, kidnapped her, and did not let her see her best friend due to his jealous and assuming tendencies. I have dated an Edward…not fun. I prefer a Peter because even though he has his flaws he loves his Louis.

  32. Bree says:

    Okay, I’m fifteen years old, female, and read all the Twilight books. And I have one thing to say:
    Peter vs Edward? Oh, hell yes, Peter.
    Because Peter, unlike Edward, has a life. And a personality.
    Quite seriously, I would rather have him fart in my food (egh, that makes me feel slightly ill), then watch me eat. And sleep. And do things, like BREATHING.
    Seriously, it pisses me off.
    There are so many books out there, absolutely gorgeous to read, with truly additive characters that are FAR BEYOND under appreciated.
    And another thing? These books?
    Not only are they un-realistic, at which point I have to agree with some of the males who have spared their thoughts above, but badly written.
    SMeyer writes something along the lines of: “I love you Bella.” “ooo! *swoons* I love you too! KISS ME!!” *insert tiny kiss* “There! God I’m angsty! You smell so good to me! How I wish I could control my primal urges to sink my totally flat teeth into your neck and knaw on you like a dog to the bone! GAH!” *angst!*
    What I would write: “Bree?” “Yeah?” “I love you, bitch.” “Diito, hoe. Let’s bang.” “Can’t. I might accidentally rip out your throat with my pointy fangs-ness.” “But they’re so hawt!!! I DIG DANGEROUS!!!”
    Vampires are supposed to be angsty, that I can understand. But sparkle in the sun?
    And you know what? I agree with Matt! Porn is to men as what E.C is to wemon. (well, only wemon who have nothing better to do with their sad, pathetic lives then obsess over a badly written, unsatisfying series of novels which lead to horrible endings that were totally dumb. There is no other word for it. DUMB. THAT’S WHAT IT IS!)
    I know so many girls at my school who are DUMB, who like doing whatever everybody else does, like READ DUMB BOOKS. They never read unless it’s a ‘how to trim those nails’ or something as equally as DUMB.
    They obsess, because it’s what every body else is doing. So a part of me is blaming this STUPID craze on conforming groups that will literally hurt you for disliking the book.
    Another part of me is thinking that S.Meyer actually put a powdered aphrodisiac into the pages, but mine got all powdered out.
    So, in summary:
    1: Twilight is dumb.
    2: Twilight is dumb.
    3: E.C + chicks = PORN , PORN + guys = E.C? No, wait, PORN.
    4: Twilight is dumb.
    5: Twilighters are even dumber.

  33. Gabe says:

    “He’s rich, dangerous, you can treat him like crap for years before he’ll leave you, and he’ll shower you in gifts.” Does anyone else realize how incredibly messed up that is?

  34. Ruby says:

    This is sooo true! It’s unfair that we all get complete idiots, why can’t every girl have an Edward? Would that hurt too much?
    Oh well, at least Twilight has given me good standards for how men should treat us. I will not rest until I find my Edward. 🙂

  35. Gone mad 4 TWILIGHT says:

    So true. I always feel so weak when thinking about Edward and stuff. Thats why I think about JACOB. Other than the fact that he shapeshifts into a wolf, other things about him, I can find them in other guys who arent Peters. Im still looking for my Jacob, in time. I’ve given up on Edward. TEAM JACOB!

  36. Jane says:

    I CANT Wait till another movie like twilight comes out. It’d have a guy that is handsome, charming, and very sweet, plus, he’s REAL.
    If a movie like that ever comes out, hopefully men all over the world would see it and treat their women how they wanna be treated. Then this whole TWILIGHT madness would end.

    *Im praying for that*

  37. Steve says:

    Im a pretty decent 25 yr old male if I do say so myself. Some of you would def agree, and some wouldnt. I used to actually treat women well, but when I realized what they actually expect of us because of Twilight, now I treat them like Tucker Max. I would like to thank Stephanie Meyers for opening my eyes to this before I got too old.