Not Him, The Other Guy: 4 Movie Recasts That Would Have Been Hilarious
I have a confession: I spend way too much time on YouTube. I don’t mean to. It’s just that there’s an absurd amount to watch. No matter what you’re in the mood for, it’s all been done. Everything — every song you wanted to do a cover of, every stunt you wanted to try, every embarrassing moment of every celebrity’s life — is not only documented but shared and seen. It’s a creative outlet, a place where anything is possible. This includes one of my favourite categories of YouTube videos: the fake movie trailer.
I don’t know if you’ve heard of these things or seen them before, but let me tell you: YouTube is rampant with them. Some trailers are for real films and are done to stave off boredom until the film’s real trailer comes along. Others make movie trailers for video games, giving us familiar video game icons while weaving in an engaging story (check out the “Pacman movie trailer” or “Mario Kart The Movie” for great examples). Still others make trailers for sequels that will never happen.
And then we come to my personal favourite: the real fake trailer. These are trailers for well-known films that take scenes that we know and love from movies we enjoy, and arrange them in such a way that completely changes the film. It was this brand of trailers that inspired my article for this week. I got to thinking about some of the most popular movies that have come out. I wondered about what would be the best way to change the genre. And then I thought, why stop there? Why not recast the lead? How would the story change? The genre?
Thus, this article was born. I decided to revisit four movies, and chose another leading man, woman, or director that would completely change the movie around. After all, we always hear about those celebrities that were originally slated to play and had to leave, or were passed over for someone else. Time to see what those films might have been like.
Re-Casting Call: Eddie Izzard as Alfred instead of Michael Caine
Now the Movie is: Much Funnier
Don’t get me wrong — Michael Caine is brilliant in this film. Really. And I know that Alfred is a serious character. After all, he has a lot of responsibility, has experienced a lot of suffering. And yes, I know the movie is meant to be more serious and much, much darker. But really, how funny would it be to have Eddie Izzard play Alfred?
He’d be able to play the straight and the funny, and with Eddie, you’d be able to touch on some of the more humourous parts that makes Alfred who he is. I mean, Bruce probably isn’t the one keeping gas in the Batmobile at all times. Can you imagine Alfred gassing up the car, fixing yet another bullethole and then thinking “Maybe I should take it for a test drive… just in case.” You can pull out those moments more easily with Eddie than you can with Michael. Michael Caine comes with a certain seriousness, a certain poise. Eddie Izzard is the guy you watch to see how long it takes him to start trying on the suit and testing all the Bat-toys.
Re-Casting Call: Frank the Rabbit instead of Chewbacca
Now the Movie is: Just plain creepy
To even consider changing a thing is this movie is borderlining on blasphemous. But let’s say I don’t touch the director or the four main leads. What if instead we swap out Chewbacca for Frank the Rabbit, courtesy of Donnie Darko?
If we did, Han Solo would be going around the galaxy committing god-knows-what crimes. He would stop being a swindling, loveable rogue and would become an unstable, angsty smuggler. Sounds a little more like a Quentin Tarantino film now than an action adventure across the stars. The only benefit would be that Han Solo probably would have gotten rid of Jabba the Hutt much earlier, and he wouldn’t have a bounty on his head. Then of course, we wouldn’t have Boba Fett… maybe in this case it is best not to mess with a classic.
Re-Casting Call: Roland Emmerich as Director instead of James Cameron
Now the Movie is: A Disaster Flick
The first time I saw Titanic, I loved it. The second time I saw it, I loved it. Seven years later, when I wasn’t a squealing teenager blinded by the attractive heartthrob that was (and still is) Leonardo DiCaprio, I realized that Titanic is little more than a poor disaster movie for the men trying to watch. Let’s face it: unless you’re really into first loves and teenager romances, this movie isn’t getting a second viewing in your household. But now, let’s throw in Mr. Emmerich.
After all, he is the king of long disaster movies. And how many times have we tuned in to yet another airing of The Day After Tomorrow or Independence Day? Disaster movies have a way of making us thankful we’re alive. Titanic made me never want to get on a boat again and had me questioning the existence of true love. I don’t want that. I want Mr. Emmerich in the director’s chair, locking six or seven of the leads into the same room with time ticking away and possibilities disappearing. Almost sounds better already.
Re-Casting Call: Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth instead of Keira Knightley
Now the Movie is: Guaranteed to have a Drunken Fight
Pirates of the Caribbean could almost be considered a perfect film (and I mean the first one only) for everyone. I haven’t met a single person who didn’t enjoy the first film on some level. It’s fun, it’s quotable, and it satisfies both the men (hello? Pirates!) and women (thank you Johnny!). So why mess with perfection? Well to be honest, I just wondered how much funnier the movie would have been with someone trying to actually take away the rum. Outside of Keith Richards, Lindsay Lohan would be next in line.
(NOTE: I wouldn’t actually re-cast in this case. Maybe just throw Lindsay in somewhere for a bar fight, running off with a case of Jack’s good rum. And it probably wouldn’t take that much acting – just tell her that there’s free alcohol).
