Movie Mash-Up: When Titles Collide
Since we’re creeping towards the most wonderful time of the year (Halloween, of course), it’s time for a round of Movie Mash. Much like “Monster Mash” it involves throwing a bunch of disparate creatures into a blender and seeing what comes out. The only common denominator between each film is a single word– from that nugget our creation comes to life. (You’ve all played this before, right?) I’ve come up with eight crazy mashed-up movie scenarios to get us started:
Little Miss Sunshine Cleaning
After losing a string of beauty pageants, a down on her luck (but still perky) adult Olive decides to go into business with her bitter and still color blind brother Dwayne. The duo attempt to start their own cleaning service, but when work is scarce they’re forced to start cleaning up bloody crime scenes to support their mom and forever jobless father.
Perpetually optimistic Olive makes the best of a bad situation and once again rallies her family, while Uncle Frank helps Dwayne make peace with his broken dreams and embark on a new enterprise of black and white photography.
Gone with the Wind in the Willows
Heartbroken after Rhett leaves her, Scarlett wonders into the cotton fields and finds herself transported to a magical, far less depressing world where she meets the manic Toad. Yes, he is a cartoon amphibian, but he’s far less judgmental than Rhett and more fun. He takes her for wild rides in motor cars and generally nurtures her fiery personality.
Sadly, the movie has a tragic twist ending wherein we discover Scarlett’s happily every after is all in her head and really she’s turned into Ms. Havisham with a house full of pet toads, none of which will turn into her crazed prince charming no matter how often she kisses them.
American Beauty and the Beast
In an effort to make American Beauty less disturbing, Disney reimagines it as a tale where The Beast is actually a furry family man in need of an attitude adjustment. Enter Angela, a beautiful young girl with an air of Mary Poppins about her, who is sent to The Beast’s family with a rose and a message of a curse. If The Beast doesn’t learn to appreciate his charmed life and stop moping and fantasizing about teenagers by the time the last petal falls he’ll be doomed to a life a loneliness and despair because Annette Bening will realize she’s way too good for such a self-loathing jerk.
Then the American Beauty will whisk the rest of the family away to McDonald’s for a round of Happy Meals, as is the American way.
The Corpse Bride Wars
What happens when two zombie best friends and future brides want to get married on the same day?
Lost limbs, ears and various other decaying body parts start flying. Will anyone have a leg left to walk down the aisle on by the time the ceremony starts?
Play Misty for Me and Marley
A family man, dog owner and radio DJ becomes involved with a deranged caller. Soon Marley, the family’s beloved pet, is kidnapped and the DJ begins receiving persistent requests to play “Misty” for me and Marley. Whether or not things end well for Marley depends on who is playing the role of the family man: Owen Wilson or Clint Eastwood.
Rosemary’s Baby’s Day Out
Even the antichrist needs a break from all of that cooing and “Hail Sataning!,” so the little rugrat wanders out for a bit of adventuring and smiting in The Big Apple. Along the way, a trio of bumbling criminals attempt to ransom the dark infant for money, but Rosemary’s wiley baby simply wishes them into a cornfield and continues on his quest to takeover Fao Schwarz.
Rosemary arrives just in time to stop her erstwhile infant from enchanting an army of teddy bears to continue his conquest of New York’s ice cream shops.
Bring it On Golden Pond
Things are a lot less heartwarming on Golden Pond when a group of cheerleaders set up summer camp nearby. Young Billy and Norman’s fishing trips become an excuse to watch the girls practice, while Ethel reveals her past as a cheer captain and teaches The Toros the true meaning of friendship and how to toss a girl with feeling.
No Country for Old Men in Black
After years of hiding the truth about aliens from the world, Agent J is forced into retirement. At least that’s the plan until rogue killing machine Anton Chigurh escapes from the main office and goes on a rampage.
Does Agent J have one last fight in him? Of course, and he’s still got some well-timed quips to execute too.
Okay, let’s keep the movie-mashups going! Add your movie monsters to the list in the comments.
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